Pagan Parenting Information

Some neat things you can do with your Pagan children

Sing Pagan Songs....
Read Pagan Stories/Fairy tales....
Take Nature Walks... to gardens, ponds, lakes, parks
Say Nightly Prayers or Thanks to the Goddess and God Together
Say Morning Prayers to the Goddess and God Together
Make daily/weekly offerings to the Goddess and God each day... Let your child find the offering... i.e. garden flowers, petals, rocks, etc.)
Working arts or crafts with a Pagan theme
Planet flowers in the yard together
Recycling
Teach your child about the energies of stones and gems
Write new family rituals together
Buy glow-in-the-dark stars and put them on your ceiling
Do ring-around- the rosy the pagan way...
ring around the rosy, pocket full of posies... magick... wishes... we all fall down!
Show them how to ground themselves by touching the Earth
For the 'cakes and ale'... substitute the ale for Hot chocolate



Should I Raise a Pagan Child?

by Angela Nash

How often do we ask ourselves this question? If we've not started a family, yet have considered having children at some time in the future, it's an applicable question. If we have children, but haven't begun to provide them any sort of "structured" religious training, it's even more often in our thoughts. Those of us who have already decided to begin to teach our children the basics of our beliefs still ask ourselves this question: Should I raise a Pagan child?

Further exploration of the question does little to give us answers. Usually, it simply gives us more decisions to make, and more points to ponder. How should I raise my child as a Pagan? In which age group is it appropriate to begin formal religious training? What sort of information is appropriate for my child? Should I allow my child to do magick? Do I teach my child about divination? What if (s)he doesn't want to learn? WHAT IF (S)HE ASKS SOMETHING I CAN'T ANSWER? WHY COULDN'T MISTER ROGERS HAVE BEEN MORE PAGAN-FRIENDLY AND HANDLED THIS FOR ME?!? This is usually the point where we break down. Rabid fundamentalist relatives talk about us behind our backs at family reunions. They say things like "It was all that Satan worship . . . if she hadn't sold her soul to Satan, she'd never have cracked." So many questions exist, but with so few answers. Books full of information exist that explain how to BE a good Pagan; unfortunately, the list of books that explain how to RAISE a good Pagan is much smaller.

My first suggestion would be one word: relax. Let's first identify the pertinent questions; when we have decided those, we'll worry about finding the answers.

In my daughter's writing class, they have to break apart the components of a story into five basic categories: Who, When, What, Where and Why? I think that this approach might help us better understand what we're trying to accomplish. Obviously, we have the "who": our child(ren) and ourselves. There are always going to be other people we must "factor into the equation" at times, but we and our child(ren) are the principal players. Ultimately, it is our responsibility to decide what is right for our children, and to provide that for them.

"When is the right time?" is easily the next question that we face as Pagan parents. The answer to this question is probably right under your nose (or underfoot). Look down, because your child is standing there. Has (s)he begun to ask specific questions? Has (s)he noticed the books and various magickal items in your home, and asked how they're used? It has always been my opinion that any child bright enough to ask an intelligent question deserves a similar answer. The simple answering of a question, while not necessarily leading to an entire course in religious theory, is the first step to beginning your child's Pagan education. As important is the ability to honestly say "I don't know the answer to your question, but let's find an answer together." Children ask hard questions, sometimes; they ask the questions for which they need answers. They have the uncanny ability of deciding for themselves when the time is right to begin their spiritual path. Conversely, it's not necessary to try and educate your child, simply because (s)he is exposed to books, rituals and other Pagan people. Children are wonderful, in that sense; they have the enviable skill of selecting those things from their surroundings that matter to them, and happily leaving the rest to explore on another day. Children don't notice items lying around the house, unless those items appeal to them; once the interest is there, they'll ask and you can answer. Kids seem to ignore the differences between people; to a child, a person is just a person. A new Pagan playmate is simply another kid with whom to play, and a Circle game is just another fun thing to do. Don't anticipate your child's concerns before (s)he has a chance to realize that there's something about which to be concerned; you'll just end up delivering a 45-minute dissertation on the uses of a ritual candle, only to have the child say, "Okay, but I was only trying to tell you that the wax dripped on the table." There is no proper age to begin to teach your child; every child is different-- a complete-yet-small individual with his (her) own needs and questions. Let your child guide you.

"What should we teach our children?" is another tough question with a simple answer. If you read the answer to the previous question, you can answer this question: Let your child guide you. Answer the questions your children ask; answer them simply and honestly. A child who asks why we burn green candles doesn't want a course on candle-burning rituals; (s)he just wants a simple answer to the question. Before we concern ourselves with all the magickal correspondences and religious theory upon which we base our beliefs, perhaps we should remember to teach our child the basics of things like "harm none," "respect your own bodies and those of other people," and "celebrate the differences between individuals." A child with a grasp of the Wiccan Rede will eventually expand that knowledge to matters of ethics and responsibility. A child who respects his own body will come to understand the notion of the sanctity of life. In addition, the practical application of self-respect results in self-confident children who are less likely to become victims. Children who learn not only to respect the differences between people but to exalt those same differences will understand the meanings of cultural diversity and religious tolerance. Basic information provided now will offer a firm foundation for more intense information, when your child is ready to handle it. Children will let you know what information they need, if you pay attention.

Where is the best place to teach our children? The most obvious location is home; children learn best in an environment with which they are familiar, and where they feel safe and secure. We can teach our children through an attunement with nature; this is where they can learn about the sacredness of life and the wheel of the year. Group celebrations, circle activities, open Sabbats, festivals and coven gatherings are further examples of places where we can instruct our children. We can teach our children anywhere, as long as we teach them with love. We should always make sure that we're not giving them more than they can handle, based on the age and maturity of the individual child. As stated before, your children will lead you when it's time for another "lesson," no matter what the location.

Why should we teach our children the ways of the Pagan path? The reasons are as plentiful as the opportunities to teach and the methods for providing that education. When we teach our path to our children, and when we give them the basics of our religion, we give them examples of open-mindedness and tolerance. We arm them for the day when they may face some of the same discriminations that we have faced, because of our religious choices. We give them a sense of the sanctity of life and the accessibility of the divine. We teach them to celebrate those differences which separate us as individuals, rather than to use those same traits to discriminate against others. Our children have a right to make their own choices; we must remain aware of this fact during our short time of being responsible for their well-being. Hopefully, our instruction on the ways of the Pagan path will teach our children to make responsible and educated choices regarding their lives. This instruction serves as a blueprint to guide them through their decisions, knowing that should they decide to pursue a different path, they'll still have our love and support. We can teach them love, respect, reverence for nature, and tolerance of all people. They'll learn to question, to seek, to endure, and to stand for those things in which they believe. Valuable life lessons can result from solid Pagan training.

The only question which we have not addressed is "How can we teach our children?", and the answer to that is simple: children learn from examples. They learn more from watching us than they do from what we say to them. We can teach them more by "doing," than we could ever hope to teach them by talking. Remember always that being a Pagan parent should always begin with being a good parent. Teach your children with love; respect their space and their basic rights as people. Let them know that their opinions matter. Remind them daily that whether we walk a Pagan path or some other, we're all walking our individual paths on the same planet; for that reason alone, we need to learn to respect out individual differences and live together harmoniously. Should I raise a Pagan child? If it means that my child will grow up with a respect for all life, and with faith in the decisions that (s)he makes, then the answer is a resounding "Yes."



A Listing of Childrens Books
These are books that can either be read by or to children

Arthen, Deirdre Pulgram. Walking With Mother Earth.
West Boxforn, MA: D & J Publications, 1992. Ages 5-10. Originally intended as a guided meditation about the Goddess and the God, it has been adapted into story form.

The Earthworks Group. Fifty Simple Things Kids Can Do to Save the Earth.
Kansas City, MO: Andrews and McMeed, 1990. The title says it all.

Frost, Robert. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.  Buy this book now!
New York: E.P. Dutton, 1978. Ages 4-10. Illustrated (by Susan Jeffers) version of a poem that takes place on Yule, in which the poet may be seen as the sun stopping in the darkness before continuing on his way.

Gobe, Paul. The Gift of the Sacred Dog. Buy this book now!
New York: MacMillan Publishing Co., 1980. Ages 4-7. Plains Indian story of the coming of the horse.

Grahame, Kenneth. The Wind in the Willows. Buy this book now!
New York: Dell Publishing Co., 1969. The language is quite difficult, so a child will have to be nine or older to read it herself. This book is published in a number of editions by different publishers.

Grimm, Jacob and Wilhelm. The Complete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm. Buy this book now!
Trans. by Jack Zipes. New York: Bantam Books, 1988. This two volume collection has all of the Grimm's fairy tales, unabridged. The age at which these are appropriate will vary with the tale, so you will need to read them first.

Hallinan, P.K. For the Love of Our Earth. Buy this book now! *NOTE: A revised edition will be published April of 2000.
Nashville, TN: Ideas Publishing Co., 1992. Ages 3-5. A poem designed to inspire children to care for the Earth and each other.

Hyer, Carol. The Whale's Song.
New York: Dial Books, 1991. Ages 4-6. A girl learns through whales that nature is here for its own purpose, not ours.

Mayer, Marianna. Noble-Hearted Kate. **Note: This title is out of print
New York: Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, 1990. Ages 8-10. An original tale, based on Celtic folklore, of Kate, who saves both her stepsister and a prince, on "the Eve of Samhain when the veil between the realm of Faerie and the realm of man is drawn apart and anything can happen."

Parramon, J.M. The Four Elements. Buy Air now! Buy Earth now! Buy Fire now! Buy Water now!
Ages 8-10 Hauppauge, NY: Barron's Educational Series, 1985. A set of four books, sometimes sold separately, describing the elements.

Phelps, Ethel Johnston. The Maid of the North: Feminist Folk Tales from Around the World. Buy this book now!
New York: Henry Holt and Co., 1981. Fairy tales in which the hero is a heroine. Different tales are appropriate for different ages.

Sanderson, Ruth. The Enchanted World.
Boston, MA: Little, Brown, and Co., 1991. Ages 5-9. Helped by a maiden, a prince saves his land which has been in drought since the death of its queen.

Tresselt, Alvin. The Gift of the Tree. Buy this book now!
New York: Lothrop, Lee, and Shepard Books, 1992. Ages 4-8. The story of a rotting oak tree and the gift of life it gives to the forest.

White Deer of Autumn. Ceremony: In the Circle of Life. Buy this book now!
Hillsboro, OR: Beyond Words Publishing, Inc., 1981. Ages 5-10. A Native American boy living in the city is visited by a spirit guide who teaches him his people's ways.

Book Listings from The Pagan Family, by Ceisiwr Serith.